my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize