Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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