Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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