I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i wish my penis had a tongue
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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