I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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