Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks

(917): View more from New York City

this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed

(917): View more from New York City

he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?

(718): View more from New York

messed up. what color are the wings?

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(917): last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks (917): this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed (917): he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF? (718): messed up. what color are the wings? http://tfl.nu/7ui0

Replies (11) Good night (2069) Bad night (433)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Did you just throw up mid-sentence?

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(202): Did you just throw up mid-sentence? http://tfl.nu/vo8s

Replies (2) Good night (883) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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(520): View more from Arizona

i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.

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(520): i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how. http://tfl.nu/qfuo

Replies (6) Good night (2452) Bad night (697)
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(404): View more from Georgia

to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy

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(404): to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy http://tfl.nu/vv9t

Replies (23) Good night (7139) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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(754): View more from Florida

I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.

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(754): I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris. http://tfl.nu/pib9

Replies (8) Good night (4698) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.

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(832): My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking. http://tfl.nu/1gc1

Replies (4) Good night (2021) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
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(763): View more from Minnesota

i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday

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(763): i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday http://tfl.nu/8jt2

Replies (3) Good night (1960) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer

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(814): Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer http://tfl.nu/nk2m

Replies (6) Good night (2242) Bad night (682) Order T-Shirt
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it

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(717): And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it http://tfl.nu/tlm9

Replies (2) Good night (1370) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.

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(413): Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk. http://tfl.nu/4ore

Replies (11) Good night (1694) Bad night (442)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship

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(717): Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship http://tfl.nu/uea0

Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

sex in a tree stand. check.

(765): View more from Indiana

you lucky bastard

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(317): sex in a tree stand. check. (765): you lucky bastard http://tfl.nu/avsw

Replies (8) Good night (1754) Bad night (574)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world

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(+61): I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world http://tfl.nu/cuud

Replies (1) Good night (724) Bad night (322) Order T-Shirt
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(219): View more from Indiana

Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.

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(219): Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel. http://tfl.nu/qebb

Replies (8) Good night (2013) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
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(424): View more from California

I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.

(479): View more from Arkansas

This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.

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(424): I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster. (479): This lesson is brought you by a psychology class. http://tfl.nu/4ga3

Replies (8) Good night (1319) Bad night (233)

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