i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize