dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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