I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
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There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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