So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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