just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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