Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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