porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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