i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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