the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize