He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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