Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
A+ Viking dick
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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