thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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