there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize