It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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