Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize