I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I still have a little drunk in my system
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize