I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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