and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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