Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize