I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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