there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
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Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
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Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
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