Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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