She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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