he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
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Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
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Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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