I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize