Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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