don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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