How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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