on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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