I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Randomize