Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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