shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize