Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i drank out of a bidet.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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