They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There's always time for handjobs
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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