I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize