I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dear god my vagina.
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