there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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