you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize