oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize