11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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