Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize