I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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