You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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