I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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